印度风味 (Law of India)

After almost a month in India, i have to say, i have the closest touch with Indian culture...the experience? unbelievable~~~ it is a pain to talk to and to work with Indians...why? let me tell you some stories (In the heaviest Indian accent) Scenario 1: Me: I need this urgently, when do you think you can provide me with the info? Indian: No probbbbbleeemmm, it will be ready in 5 minutes. Me: Great. I will be waiting for you. (after N days, the info is nowhere to be seen...so you chase them) Me: Well, is the info ready yet? Indian: Yeah, I will give you by 10am. (clock strikes 10am, then 1pm, then 6pm...the indian is nowhere to be found, so the next day...) Me: Well, where is it? if i don't get it, i will put it in my report!!! Indian: Ok, it's 90% completed...i will give u in 5 mins.... (2 hours later, 4 hours later....still nowhere to be found!! so a finding in the report!!) During external updates with management, it is explained to the FC that the mgt is unable to provide with info..there, the info is just freshly done!!) This is what i called, Indian's strechable time!!! Scenario 2: After 12 hours of not having any solid food, we are so starved that we need to be taken to our dinner FAST!!! we take a taxi, asking the driver if he knows where the restaurant is. He "shake" his head (ie, indian way of saying YES), so we hop into the car....on the road, the driver is always on the phone. Eventhough we are already in the traffic jam, the car moves slower than the jam..we are at 20km/hr!!!! the driver is a call centre....i guess it's his part-time job...so, we yell at him, can you drive faster? we are STARVING!!! so, he increases to 40km/hr...after 1.30hrs (ie 14 hours without food)...he seems totally lost...we ask him again if he knows the place...he assures us tat he knows by "shaking" his head...so he makes rounds...unable to find and he turns and asks us where the location is....Derrr....we YELL at him again, we tell him, "WE ASKED U IF U KNOW THE PLACE AND U SAID YES!!! AND NOW U DON'T KNOW? IF U DON'T FIND THE PLACE IN FIVE MINUTES, WE ARE NOT PAYING U!!!" so he leaves his car, with the key and doesnt come back...we are being abandoned on the roadside...so we take a rickshaw (yes, the one you saw in my previous post) and leave. Indian's translation: Yes = yes, No = yes!!! Scenario 3: After scenario 2, we don't wanna end up with unrealiable taxi driver..so before we leave office, we make a phone call to our hotel to have them arranged a car in advance for us so that when we get back to hotel, we will leave immediately for dinner. us: Hi, we are guest from room xxx, we would like to order a car to leave hotel in 10 mins time. hotel: ok m'am, we will arrange a car for you when you come back. us: NO, no, we want a car NOW and leave in 10 minutes. hote: Ok, no problem m'am, we will arrange a car for you when you come back. us: No, i want you to arrange NOW. Hotel: OK m'am, we will arrange one for you when you come back. us: NO, I SAID I WANT YOU TO ARRANGE NOW. THAT IS WHY I CALL NOW. Ending? well, we got a car in 30 mins after our return to the hotel. this is what i called, Indian's way of service. Scenario 4: My manager wants to leave the hotel at 8am the next day, so she is arranging a taxi with the reception. Her: Hi, i'd like to book a taxi to leave at 8am tomorrow. Hotel: m'am, you can book you taxi at 8am tomorrow morning. Her: No, i want to leave at 8am tomorrow. can you please book a taxi for me to leave at 8am tomorrow? Hotel: yes, m'am, you can do that at 8am tomorrow morning. Her: No, i want to leave at 8am tomorrow. can you arrange for me? Hotel: you can book tomorrow. maybe your plan will change. Her: No, my plan won't change, that's why i plan. This is what i called, indian's consideration!!! Scenario 5: We didnt pay the driver in scenario 2, so the driver went to the hotel and asked the reception to collect money from us (how dare!!!) anyway, the hotel kept pressuring us to pay....we were pissed... us: We are not going to pay him and we told him so...he abandoned us at the roadside!!! hotel: but you still have to pay him for taking you to xxxx road. us: He could have taken us to anywhere and asked us to pay.... hotel: but you at least have to pay him for taking you there... us: well, we don't care, when we hopped into the car, the 1st thing we asked was if he knows where the location is and he told us yes and turned out he didnt!!! hotel: maybe you don't understand indian. that's the way we speak. (We were looking at each other) Us: well, that's how we pay in europe.... In the end? we didn't pay. Indian's way? it's rude to say i don't understand and I don't know.