pre-going home mood

i'm counting days now... 4 more days to home sweet home~~ well, i'm not sure if i should be happy that it's getting closer or if i should be sad that it is getting to finishing...life is always so difficult and has two sides...i was watching desperate housewives yesterday (yeah, im bored and i find it interesting :p), well, one episode particularly touched me....everyone knows how slutty eddie is, right? anyway, she died in this episode...before she died, everyone disliked her...and i have to admit, she did have a good body and very very sexy. that's my thought when looking at her...then in this episode, after she died, i just realized that life is really just an illusion, isnt it? one moment, i was admiring how pretty she was, how envy i was towards her body shapes, her life (coz she was always wearing nice dress and fitted in just perfect)...then one moment, she was gone (i know i took it seriously even though it was just a show)...but it struck me, isnt it the same in real life? we keep taking things for real when they don't really exist...money, fame, beauty, body shapes, belonging...they seem so important to us now, but when we die, we cant really take them with us, so why are we still hang on to these unreal things? the only reason i could think of is, we just have not realized they are not real...oh, seems a bit out of topic...hehehe... well, i also realized that life is painful no matter what...u feel painful before u go back to kuching (because u have this feeling inside wishing it could be here sooner, but still have to go through all those days before it's here)...then when the time comes, u worry that it's gonna be finished real soon and dreaded the end of the trip to come...i have a friend who shared his philosophy with us...he said, before the trip, just treat it as u have come back and u will be able to eliminate the hope and the depression before and after the trip.....hhmmm...something worth thinking...well, is it just me or what? wish to see u all soon~~